Life is a head game.
Running is a head game.
Getting out of our way is sometimes the biggest challenge we will face in life. But to move forward you’ve gotta face the obstacles you, yourself are placing in front of you. Often, they are the biggest mountain you have to climb. Even more so than anything else that becomes and obstacle from other sources. We can be our own worst enemy or our greatest hero. We can be the thing that drags us down or the momentum that makes us rise. But it’s all a choice, a choice to face fear and a choice to admit areas where we may be frail, or not as strong for the task in front of us. But it’s usually not the frailty or lack of strength or knowledge that kicks our butts. It’s pride, it’s fear and it’s self doubt that binds us. The words “I can’t do that” and “It’s too hard” just be stricken from our minds eye. We are capable of so much more than we know.
This is for the dreamers who fear to go out and make that dream a reality because they don’t have the right tools. And the ones who want to climb that mountain but fear their days of glory are far behind them. This blog is for those who’ve been kicked down by life and are having a tough time standing back up. And for those who let the little voice inside who says “You can’t do that” and “That’s to hard for me” win.
I am with you.
I am one of you.
Self doubt is something I’ve fought my entire life. And getting back up when life kicks me down is something I’ve always stumbled through. The last few months things have happened that separately, I likely would have dealt with much differently. They likely would have made me a tiger who through tears and troubles would have persevered through. But sometimes life gives you just the right (or very very wrong) one two (or three) punch in the gut that knocks you down and keeps you down for the count.
So what happened?
My husband had to be gone for a while, off to another country for work. I injured my arm and side very badly. My dog passed away and I was suffering from some pretty bad insomnia because of all this. This combination knocked me right out of the ballpark as far as any race training went. Or any running, run walk run, or heck even walking went. I started becoming a couch potato and emotional eating again. Between trying to heal from the injury, sadness over my dog and overall sleep deprivation and my hubby being so far away , I felt like a mouse on a wheel going nowhere and it would stay that way forever. Well that’s how it felt.
In reality, three really long months. And getting back into training seemed like Mt Everest to climb. That huge wall was in front of me and I knew I eventually had to start kicking it down and the longer I waited, the bigger that obstacle was growing.
March 19th my first Half Marathon is happening. And it’s happening if I’m ready or not. And I think that realization is just thing I’ve needed to kick my butt back into shape emotionally, mentally and physically. I am going to treat my run training with small steps of forward momentum.
Not really starting at square one, because I do have some training and experience. But yet again I really think that’s what I plan to do. I need to start again, fall in love with it all, all over again. Remember how my body responds to the challenges I set and how I overcome them. Accomplishments can be a strong driving force. And challenging yourself is what I’ve found to be the best way to gain self esteem.
That’s what is so amazing about running and the running community. The only one you are really racing is yourself. Sure you can get into all the head games of who is faster than you. But really, who cares? What are you truly afraid of? That is the question I have to ask myself and I want you to ask yourself when you face the doubt. Because really you just have to get of your own way!! And I’m doing it with small forward steps.
So this week I begin again. I have an early training start to my Half Marathon. Monday’s are a designated rest day which I will usually just do some gentle yoga for. So Tuesday is my official day back on the pavement. But stretching is awesome for runners and just generally is fabulous for your mind and body. And I am hoping to post a recap of the day, every day to hold myself accountable!! Call me out on it if you don’t see a post after a couple days 😏
It won’t be morning because I am allergic to mornings. Even working I prefer night shifts. Mornings are for late breakfasts, but… Tomorrow I will share a bit more inspiration I found as I struggled through the last few months not training. I knew I would eventually pull myself out of my own self created funk, but a little inspiration and motivation along the way has really helped!
And for all the Supernatural Gifs I used in the making of this blog post and those who love the Winchester’s and the rest of the Supernatural cast….