Too many tears, so… here’s to new beginnings

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Where to start?

Bare with me, this may be a long read…

It’s been a long long spring/summer. A lot has happened and life has changed. There’s been so much sadness for me and my hubby the last several months. I have avoided blogging because so much has happened and I’ve been unsure what direction life would take me in and I needed to hit the pause button.

Back tracking, we made a big move from Virginia to New Jersey for my hubby’s job. He had a change of position. One we thought would be a good one, or at least a chill one giving us the time we needed to spend with his family in New Jersey. To say the move so far has been hell would be accurate. At least we had one big bright shining spot that at least dulled the ache we had/have in our hearts.

Those that follow my blog know how much our furkids meant to us. They are family, our kids. We used to have a fur family of 4 cats and one spoiled Chihuahua. We lost our cats Odin and Buster a few years ago. They were similar in age and passed away within a year of each other. They did live good long lives filled with more love than they could handle. And we lost our Chihuahua to cancer shortly after that. Once again in similar age group for their breeds and size. I was devastated. Buster had been my cat for 22 years, Odin was nothing but love and our Chihuahua, Ippo was my savior as a waded through some depression. She also was 5lbs of pure love and devotion to me. She healed my broken heart when we lost Buster. This left Tinka Belle and Loki. They were a few years younger than Buster and Odin and we felt we owed it to them to let them run the house and not adopt anyone new. We wanted to focus on giving them all the attention. They always seemed to be stuck playing second fiddle to the other three and we wanted them to be the spoiled ones.

We moved in December and since then, both Tinka and Loki have crossed the rainbow bridge to be with the rest of the clowder/pack (our family of furkids). Both it is believed had cancer as well.

And in between the two of them, another devastation.
You know that rule of three thing?
Yeah.
My sister passed away.

Tinka passed in April
My sister passed in June
Loki passed in August

 

Huge chunks of my world crashed.
Too much loss, too close together.

And somewhere in the middle of all this chaos, we found volunteer positions that was inspiring all sorts of plans and goals for me. I felt alive with new possibility and a bit of the heaviness of my heart was lifted. Helping wildlife. Helping sick, orphaned and injured animals to rehabilitate to be release back into the wild after they healed. I found hope in all their little faces. It’s inspired me to perhaps get more involved and go back to school for wildlife rehabilitation. And I am still inspired, but…

We had to leave the volunteer positions because of time issues and Loki getting sicker. The positions required us very few call off days and we exceeded, or new we would exceed this with Loki’s declining health. They only need volunteers through the summer months. So we plan to go back next summer. It’s one of the most fulfilling things I have ever experienced.  But meanwhile, something that was helping to heal my heart, was lost.

You still with me?

So there was a light in this deep dark tunnel. And it wasn’t a light for me, but it was and is a light that affects me. Because me isn’t just me, it’s we. Yeah, the hubby found a little light in the midst of all the loss and sadness.

When we moved to New Jersey he/we had a big goal and that was that he would try to get a promotion at work that’s he’s been working so hard to get. And I’ve suffered for this too, through missing him through some long hours he puts in.

And yayyyyy, he’s getting that promotion on Friday!!

We needed this. We needed something good to happen. Between vet bills and an unexpected trip to Ohio for my sister, we needed this!! This promotion may lead us in some new directions and eventually another location change. But it’s opening up a new chapter in our lives. I wished that our furkids were here to celebrate with us. I wish I could call my sis to tell her the big news. But life moves forward and is ever changing. And somehow we learn how to survive and how to cope and build new dreams while keeping those we’ve lost safe in our hearts while we heal.

Oh, and yeah we do plan on adopting another furbaby at some point. One for now, some time soon. We are having the marital debate of; cat or dog first. I keep floating back and forth. I’ve had a cat my entire adult life, so it’s odd not having that aloof presence in my life. He (the hubby), thinks I need a dog first. He thinks a dog will help mend my broken heart just that little bit quicker with a dog.

I’ve been looking at kittens and Chihuahuas & Yorkies.
He (the hubby) has been looking at Italian Greyhounds and Border Collies.
All on Petfinder right now. We eventually will brave the shelters.
We want a younger one. I’ve always adopted the older and sometimes sick ones. I can’t purposefully walk back into that fire yet. ps….

Adopt Don’t Shop 😻

 

I’m not an Arbonne Independent Consultant anymore either. I’m not a hater though. I just don’t use their products very much. I’ve found others that work better and less expensive that I’m happy with. I’m thinking of dabbling in the essential oils business because those I use allllllllll the time. Personally and professionally. So it’s a better fit for my business goals. But more about that in a few months.  I’m still “technically” a consultant and can answer any questions you have or help you navigate the website. But that’s only till April.

As far as the blog is concerned. I’m back, sort of.
I want to do some blog housecleaning first. But I’m back and hope to start reading your blogs again over the next few weeks. So hello again and here’s to new beginnings 🌅

heart golden

September is National Suicide Prevention Month and National Suicide Prevention Week is September 8 -14, 2019 (in the United States).

Call a friend today and ask them how they are, how they really are. Be there to listen and support them. If you are in need of support, reach out, ask for it, don’t be afraid, you are not alone. Call someone, I promise it helps.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Veterans/Military Crisis Line
1-(800)-273-8255 and press 1

Vet to Vet Assistance 888.777.4443 or ONLINE

Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

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