When Ego Reigns

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Through my own spiritual walk in life I’ve dealt with my own inflated ego from time to time and having to kick myself down a few notches in the past. And Karma has stepped in on more than one occasion and taken me backwards on my path and even just put severe halts to any advancement or windows of opportunity opening for me until I sorted that crap out. Spiritual superiority we could call it. Many on a spiritual path will encounter this phase in their spiritual development in varying degrees. This is a period where the ego is forced to undertake a spiritual journey of its own and course correct. In other words FIX IT.

People from all walks of life with skills of any kind go through this, but especially; people with artistic skills (like actors, artists, performers, etc), people who are in a position of perceived power, spiritual path walkers (priests, nuns, monks, etc..) and those on healing paths (doctors, nurses, holistic healers, etc..). This high and mighty ego attitude needs to be worked out asap. And believe me, it has to be faced. 

I’ve recently been exposed to a spiritual person who is dealing with a huge ego complex. I doubt I would have seen the signs had they not been so much like me a couple years ago. It was painful to watch. Yes, painful for those who seek wise counsel and healing from this person, but also painful to see this person not see it within themselves. And here I was standing in front of them, seeking counsel and direction. Considering I was one who was purposefully choosing to take two steps back in my own personal development because I needed clarity on which way to turn. The solid ground I had when I lived in Virginia was such a clear path but when we moved to New Jersey it was like I was back in high school not knowing what I wanted out of life. And somehow this incredibly gifted individual standing before me as a potential teacher and mentor turned into a mirror reflection of what was once me (and who knows may try to get me again some day). And in turn it was not their teaching and guidance that gave me clarity, but it was their own ego that reminded me I already knew the answers to the questions I sought. But more importantly I also needed the reminder of where I stood not so long ago, so that I don’t have to relive those lessons learned right now or subject others to it here on my present path.

And I think also to share with you as readers of my blog, to remember that we ‘re all human and prone to the ego no matter how white light and pure our intentions. People turn to spiritual people and healers during their their darkest hours at times and may overlook an ego riding high because they need a powerful in charge person to guide them. Or, they may just be so overwhelmed with a persons gifts, insight or positive spirit they don’t see that the healer forgot to check their ego at the door. And while that person will likely very much be able to help you, may be super equipped to heal you, give spiritual guidance, give oracle readings, reiki, or even be able to teach you and pass on gifts to you, be sure not to adopt the ego they may carry into a session and bring it home or into your own practice. Learn to see the signs. And if you are close with someone who may be a gifted spiritual being of light who also happens to be riding high on their own ego, help them. Talk to them. It tarnishes their halo and only makes the karma they have to clear on themselves that much heavier.

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The essence of true faith and spiritual devotion are beyond the scope of ego and beyond the scope of just pure book knowledge. There’s a difference between knowing a path and walking the path. The same holds true as a holistic healer. You can be taught but you also must FEEL that healing energy, just knowing it in your head doesn’t make it so. And when it comes to comparing yourself to other people who do holistic healing, stop and check yourself. Believing your way is the ONLY way or is the BEST way for everyone is a nasty trap of an inflated ego. Watch your words, they should only be to heal.

As Lao Tzu says, “He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”

If you find yourself or a spiritual adviser belittling that which they don’t have first hand knowledge of in order to sway someones belief system towards their own, red flags should be thrown down. You can speak your truth without diminishing others. Even the most spiritual of people have bad days, and having enough courage to be honest with your emotions is a key ingredient for liberation from self centered ego. If you make a mistake, admit it. If you’re having and off day, say so.

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A “Messiah complex. ? Though it’s important to be of service to others, as human beings we are above no one. We are all only human and what one may be able to do better than their sister the one day, the next day sis may rise above. Those on a spiritual path who deal with holistic healing ebb and flow, evolve, regress and evolve again. This is something we need to acknowledge. There is no high and mighty.

 

 

 

Signs your ego is in control and not you – Awareness is key!

  • Does it feel empowering to talk about others flaws? Perceived or otherwise? Do you negative talk fellow spiritual leaders and teachers instead of just focusing on your own path?
  • Do you just have to WIN that argument? I’m not talking clarity of point, I’m talking do you have to make the other person agree with you to justify your own beliefs. Make them come over to “Your Side”?
  • Do you play the comparison game? Do you elevate yourself above other’s in the spiritual community? Do you imply or otherwise say your healing gifts are better than so and so’s?
  • Are you jealous at the success of others? Especially within your community of healers and teachers?
  • Do you promote your business during a session instead of focusing on the session and the person you are helping?

Take a step back and analyze why you’re doing it. Is it fear? Is it lack of belief in yourself? Is it for financial gain? I know that this experience and choosing to write about it and leaving it here will serve as a constant reminder to me to always take a step back and humble myself and check on the status of my ego. Often facing the truth is the hardest to do but the easiest and quickest route to getting past it and taking that crown off your head and just come back to being the amazing beacon of light you really are.

 

 

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*Ultimately the people who have unwittingly chosen abusive teachers along the way on their spiritual path sometimes have mixed feelings about the experience, feeling strangely grateful, because it can teach you a lot and make you much more careful. 

Thank you to Nouk Sanchez for writing such an important insightful article, please continue on to Nouk’s Blog to learn traits of the ego phase and the spiritual ego checklist. It’s am important read about Ego and the holistic healing arts. 
SIGNS OF THE SPIRITUAL EGO

 

In This Present Moment

MEDITATE | JOURNAL
Being present is really about focused awareness of what you are feeling and experiencing in the present moment. Meditation is a great way to become aware of your inner thoughts and emotions that are bubbling to the surface. You can use meditation to quiet your thoughts that are taking you out of the present moment. Thoughts like worrying about something that’s in the future. As time passes that “thing” you are focused on in the future could alter anyway due to all sorts of variables, so why are you worrying in the NOW? Use candles and either some sandalwood or palo santo incense to help you relax and refocus.  I write, journal and blog as a way to release thoughts and emotions. It releases stress and also allows me, once I’ve written it out, to bring myself back to the present moment.

 

MOVEMENT | BODYFLOW
Some times we all need to get out of our own head. Stop thinking and move! Go to a yoga class or pick any from YouTube for free to do. They have them for every level and you can even find short 15 minute Vinyasas. Take your meditation outside and do a walking meditation. Put some music on and dance like no one’s watching. If you’re at the office, take a short break and use the stairs! Or stand up right there by your desk and shake it out, move your shoulders and neck. Workout, hike, go for a swim, something to release pent up energy. Pent up energy can cause things like writers block and can get your mind stuck on something, release that block with some movement. This will help your energy to become fluid and can be like a breath of fresh air!

 

NATURE | GROUNDING
Nature never stops, it may move slowly but it keeps flowing. Connect to the earth’s natural energy, it will ground you. Earthing can diminish fatigue, so put your bare feet to the ground, the sand and soak up those free electrons!

FEEL IT | RELEASE IT
We have a bad habit of compartmentalizing things and minimizing the feeling of negative emotions by not focusing on what specifically we are feeling or wanting. We have to honor ourselves by facing our feelings. Only then, can we either release it our find forward momentum and flow down a path to fixing it or getting whatever it is. We aren’t robots. We have emotions that we need to share with ourselves and others with honesty and grace. 

UNPLUG| JUST BE
Step away from the phone. Step away from the computer. Put down the laptop. Turn off the TV. How long has it been since you’ve just spent time with yourself in a moment without all the constant input visually and audibly from the constant hum of, at it’s basic, electricity? We have a constant barrage of sensory input every minute of the day. And most of that isn’t related to nature or even meditative or relaxing music. Take a sensory moment to just stop inputting data and just be. 

Matthieu Ricard’s Thought of the Week

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Anger and hatred are our real and constant enemies. It is they, not our temporary adversaries, that we need to fight and conquer. As we have not trained our minds to weaken their power to harm, those emotions continue to disrupt and negate all our efforts for inner peace.

Summarized and adapted from Les voies spirituelles du bonheur, Presses du Chatelet, Paris, 2002; Points Sagesse, Seuil, 2004. English version: The Compassionate Life, Shambhala 2003

FOURTEENTH DALAI LAMA, TENZIN GYATSO (B. 1936)

Matthieu Ricard 
Buddhist Monk, Photographer, Author and Humanitarian

A Worrier Or A Warrior?

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Worrier or Warrior?

Do you stress over even the little things; things you may not even have control over?        
I was a major worrier, some time still am.
Maybe you aren’t but perhaps you are surrounded by them…
this is often not much better, maybe even worse.
Or it triggers your worry
Or you find yourself in an endless cycle of supporting each others negativity
Worriers spread doubt and oppress our own potential.
Worriers usually think they are helping you, some times even saving you.
When you are facing the big decisions in your life, there is no room for worry.
There is no room for fear. Logic yes, unrealistic or far reaching fears, NO.
Those people will say “well what if you fail?
What if it’s too hard?
What if you are never successful?
You know what you tell them…
What if I FLY!??
What if I am the catalyst that changes someones LIFE?
What if I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE?
What if I CAN manifest my DREAMS and make them all TRUTHS?
WHAT IF I FEEL LIKE A WARRIOR, not a worrier?
Be the WARRIOR not a worrier!
And let them eat their words for breakfast!

💙 Susan

 

Re-Ignite Your Sense Of Wonder

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I spent the last week with nieces and nephews at the beach, the aquarium, the carnival, eating caramel apples and playing in the sand. It give you perspective on joy, imagination, freedom of expression, imagination and creativity. And I began to think of ways to keep that momentum going seeing as we don’t have kids and our nieces and nephews are hours and hours away now. Hopefully this will help some of you to re-ignite your sense of wonder again 💙🐬🌊💙

“A sense of wonder is the key to agelessness”

Try everything, even things that may not sound fun or appealing to you. You never know, right? I’m sure you’ve tried things you thought you’d love and ended up wondering why you ever thought of doing it in the first place. So why not try the opposite? Never thought you’d want to play an instrument️🎻️🎷️🥁? maybe if you pick it up you’ll find it was one of the missing pieces of your life. The thing you never knew you wanted!

Let go of ego ☯️. Let go of your competitive side. Let go of the need to be the winner, the best at, and being number 1. Striving for perfection is tiring and can lead you down a path of defeat when you’re trying to experience new things. Worry about actually running 🏃🏽 before ever being concerned with beating your last PR.

Travel 🚙🚌✈🚆! Somehow when you set your feet in places you’ve never walked your mind is wide open for new experience. When your senses are awakened , your mind interactive and your eyes wide open 👀 you can sometimes learn new things about yourself and how you fit into the world. This can also open you up to new paths 🐾 to creativity and invention.

Volunteering. Putting yourself outside your own ego and self can be quite liberating. It can also allow you to experience life in new ways. This could be just the ticket to being inspired or motivated forward.

⭐Be an entrepreneur⭐. Having to rely on yourself and creating a business environment that puts you completely in charge of your own destiny is scary for sure. But it’s also mind expanding and creates an atmosphere of movement and change in your life. When you take on being your own boss you realize your own potential and can see it through your own eyes, not just through some boss in an office somewhere. You become more thoughtful, and more creative in your pursuit when you are doing something you wholeheartedly believe in. You can discover all of who you are and all that you can become!

 

Meditate ✌️🏽. Shut things down and out and just go within. To often the world tends to put constant chatter in our heads and we need to recharge and make it all stand still for a time so you can think fluidly again. Meditation will also bring you closer to your true self and callings because you are looking within as opposed to the world around you.

Let your inner weirdo out. Yes! Get down on the ground and do some sidewalk chalk. Go to a karaoke️🎤 place and belt out your favorite song. Do your hair 💇🏽that rainbow color you always wanted. Be a child again from time to time. If you let that inner wild one go, reclaim him or her and go and play, be weird!

 

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Visit your local craft store and browse everything!! As you walk the aisles something will call to you. It may be a color, or shiny baubles or maybe even that blank canvas will inspire you ✂🖌! You don’t have to know what you’re going there for, just browse.

👶🏽Hang out for a while with kids. Round up your nieces and nephews. Remember what it was like to imagine🦄. To use your imagination to ride the skies with 🐲 dragons and silly animals 🐤🐛 from play-doh. Again, we tend to lose that inner child as we grow up and are submerged into the adult world. We lose our sense of wonder, reclaim it!

Create a vision board. Vision boards are awesome because it can start with a couple things and then when you start envisioning things you want to do and see, more and more is revealed. I actually realized my dream of one day playing the violin ️🎼️🎻️🎶through doing a vision board. I finally found a great beginner violin and I’m now pricing out teachers!

Put yourself in positions to meet new interesting people. As we go through our day to day we tend to meet the same or similar kinds of people. Moms meet other Moms at PTA, office workers hang with fellow office workers after work, etc.. Sign up for a painting class or floral arranging. Maybe a cooking 😋🍪 class or learn to tango 💃🏽🕺🏽. Get out and meet people who are different from the norm that you meet. Not because the norm are bad. But cultivating friendships with different kinds of people from different walks of life and interests will be inspiring for you.

Release that which is no longer serving you. From clothing to jobs. Try reinventing yourself. Stop holding onto the past. My biggest hmmm 🤔 is wondering why people hold onto eras. Instead take some from an era and move on and become and eclectic soul.

Doodle, ✏draw those silly flowers 🌸and smiley faces 😛. Doodling can have a calming effect, similar to meditation. Mandalas are sometimes drawn in repetition within a meditation. It will help relax your brain and rejuvenate your though process. Coloring books are also super helpful and fun!

Eat brain healthy foods; Blueberries, nuts🥜, seeds, avocados🥑…. Keeping your mind fresh and alert helps keep the creativity flowing.

The Arts.  ️🎧Music is a release and also can be inspiring. As well as art for some people. Some can find walking through a gallery very inspiring and thought provoking. So go see the ballet, your favorite band, or catch a play️ ️🎭!

Play video games, read comics, letting that inner child have some fun again 🤣

💤Sleeeeep💤. Catching enough zzzzz’s will help your mind to function better, as well as your whole body. This will help you be more creative, inspired and ready to expand your horizons.

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Permission

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It seems to me
that we often ask
for advice
when what
we really want 
is permission

Permission
to let go
to start over
to choose something different

I know I have

More than once
I have found myself
asking for guidance
when what I really want
is permission

Permission
to do what I already know
I want to do
but am scared to do

Because
like so many of us
I learned not to trust myself
at least not without
some sort of
external validation

And definitely
not without punishing myself
for the ways I feel
I have done it incorrectly
in the past

As if punishment
is a necessary
part of the process
As if without punishment
I will make the same “mistakes” again

Silly
Sad
Misguided
for sure…

And truly not the best use of my energy
Truly not the quickest way
to get where I want to go

Simply not that useful, not at all

So I have been trying something new
Perhaps you try it too…
Compassion
and care

Yes, compassion and care
over punishment and self attack

Give yourself permission
to start over
this time
without harshness
this time
kindly

You might be surprised
just how much easier
it is to start
when you choose
to start
from there

❤️ Emily Joy Rosen

and i simply decided to be happy

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I came across this article and although I’m working at it, I’m not always as articulate or can put my thoughts down into words. And THIS is exactly what I’ve been thinking about for a few weeks. Deciding happiness. 

It doesn’t mean erase or ignore worry or anger. But what it does mean is to choose thoughts wisely with good vibes. Be constructive instead of destructive!

🌞and i simply decided to be happy🌞

💡👍🏽😉 So, let’s try on this behavior for a week:

Step 1) Wake up tomorrow and consider the miraculous fact that you’re even on the planet.

Step 2) List a few items you are grateful to have… anything between running clean water and trash pickup to a cancer-free body and people that love you.

Step 3) If you go over to social media, post something positive instead of something you find unacceptable. OR, if you can’t shake rage over injustice, then put something actionable on your social media, as in: “Injustice X is happening, please do Y to help.”

Step 4) Sit down with your loved ones and talk about only positive things over dinner. Yep. Just the good stuff. Set aside the hard and necessary and bothersome for a week. It’ll still be there. OR if you believe you need to discuss difficulties, discuss what you learned or hope to learn from a challenging experience.

Step 5) Repeat as often as possible.

Source: Human Unlimited

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Trading ego for true power

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When we get out of the glass bottles of our ego,
and when we escape like squirrels turning in the
cages of our personality
and get into the forests again,
we shall shiver with cold and fright
but things will happen to us
so that we don’t know ourselves.
Cool, unlying life will rush in,
and passion will make our bodies taut with power,
we shall stamp our feet with new power
and old things will fall down,
we shall laugh, and institutions will curl up like
burnt paper.

– D.H. Lawrence

Jealousy

 

I had (and still have) soooo many issues to get past if I was every going to get anywhere. With myself, my goals, my coaching, my life!

Some had to do with FEAR, some had to do with needing TONS more personal development to get over issues I’ve had since childhood, most was getting over and past myself and all the doubts in my own head, and some had to do with this.

Jealousy – Envy 

Dirty words, aren’t they? Really?

I allowed myself, jealousy and envy of others success to take me places mentally, no one should ever go to. It was never that I wanted someone else to fail. I celebrated others success but I let their success mix with my lack of success and let it pull me down, reallllly down. I allowed it to make me feel less than…

And as you’d expect, it just will set you up for major failure and spin you around that hamster wheel of self doubt. I’m here to tell you NO. Don’t go there, EVER.

We are ALL capable
We are all superstars in the making
We are all worth it
We CAN all achieve our goals

In our own time. Because there is room for ALL of us. So YOU, there, sitting quietly in the corner, reading blogs, seeing success of your friends or family pour in. Watching as others claim the prize. Don’t you dare quit, don’t you dare quit on yourself. And seriously, NOT because someone else achieved something you haven’t, YET!