When Ego Reigns

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Through my own spiritual walk in life I’ve dealt with my own inflated ego from time to time and having to kick myself down a few notches in the past. And Karma has stepped in on more than one occasion and taken me backwards on my path and even just put severe halts to any advancement or windows of opportunity opening for me until I sorted that crap out. Spiritual superiority we could call it. Many on a spiritual path will encounter this phase in their spiritual development in varying degrees. This is a period where the ego is forced to undertake a spiritual journey of its own and course correct. In other words FIX IT.

People from all walks of life with skills of any kind go through this, but especially; people with artistic skills (like actors, artists, performers, etc), people who are in a position of perceived power, spiritual path walkers (priests, nuns, monks, etc..) and those on healing paths (doctors, nurses, holistic healers, etc..). This high and mighty ego attitude needs to be worked out asap. And believe me, it has to be faced. 

I’ve recently been exposed to a spiritual person who is dealing with a huge ego complex. I doubt I would have seen the signs had they not been so much like me a couple years ago. It was painful to watch. Yes, painful for those who seek wise counsel and healing from this person, but also painful to see this person not see it within themselves. And here I was standing in front of them, seeking counsel and direction. Considering I was one who was purposefully choosing to take two steps back in my own personal development because I needed clarity on which way to turn. The solid ground I had when I lived in Virginia was such a clear path but when we moved to New Jersey it was like I was back in high school not knowing what I wanted out of life. And somehow this incredibly gifted individual standing before me as a potential teacher and mentor turned into a mirror reflection of what was once me (and who knows may try to get me again some day). And in turn it was not their teaching and guidance that gave me clarity, but it was their own ego that reminded me I already knew the answers to the questions I sought. But more importantly I also needed the reminder of where I stood not so long ago, so that I don’t have to relive those lessons learned right now or subject others to it here on my present path.

And I think also to share with you as readers of my blog, to remember that we ‘re all human and prone to the ego no matter how white light and pure our intentions. People turn to spiritual people and healers during their their darkest hours at times and may overlook an ego riding high because they need a powerful in charge person to guide them. Or, they may just be so overwhelmed with a persons gifts, insight or positive spirit they don’t see that the healer forgot to check their ego at the door. And while that person will likely very much be able to help you, may be super equipped to heal you, give spiritual guidance, give oracle readings, reiki, or even be able to teach you and pass on gifts to you, be sure not to adopt the ego they may carry into a session and bring it home or into your own practice. Learn to see the signs. And if you are close with someone who may be a gifted spiritual being of light who also happens to be riding high on their own ego, help them. Talk to them. It tarnishes their halo and only makes the karma they have to clear on themselves that much heavier.


The essence of true faith and spiritual devotion are beyond the scope of ego and beyond the scope of just pure book knowledge. There’s a difference between knowing a path and walking the path. The same holds true as a holistic healer. You can be taught but you also must FEEL that healing energy, just knowing it in your head doesn’t make it so. And when it comes to comparing yourself to other people who do holistic healing, stop and check yourself. Believing your way is the ONLY way or is the BEST way for everyone is a nasty trap of an inflated ego. Watch your words, they should only be to heal.

As Lao Tzu says, “He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”

If you find yourself or a spiritual adviser belittling that which they don’t have first hand knowledge of in order to sway someones belief system towards their own, red flags should be thrown down. You can speak your truth without diminishing others. Even the most spiritual of people have bad days, and having enough courage to be honest with your emotions is a key ingredient for liberation from self centered ego. If you make a mistake, admit it. If you’re having and off day, say so.

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A “Messiah complex. ? Though it’s important to be of service to others, as human beings we are above no one. We are all only human and what one may be able to do better than their sister the one day, the next day sis may rise above. Those on a spiritual path who deal with holistic healing ebb and flow, evolve, regress and evolve again. This is something we need to acknowledge. There is no high and mighty.




Signs your ego is in control and not you – Awareness is key!

  • Does it feel empowering to talk about others flaws? Perceived or otherwise? Do you negative talk fellow spiritual leaders and teachers instead of just focusing on your own path?
  • Do you just have to WIN that argument? I’m not talking clarity of point, I’m talking do you have to make the other person agree with you to justify your own beliefs. Make them come over to “Your Side”?
  • Do you play the comparison game? Do you elevate yourself above other’s in the spiritual community? Do you imply or otherwise say your healing gifts are better than so and so’s?
  • Are you jealous at the success of others? Especially within your community of healers and teachers?
  • Do you promote your business during a session instead of focusing on the session and the person you are helping?

Take a step back and analyze why you’re doing it. Is it fear? Is it lack of belief in yourself? Is it for financial gain? I know that this experience and choosing to write about it and leaving it here will serve as a constant reminder to me to always take a step back and humble myself and check on the status of my ego. Often facing the truth is the hardest to do but the easiest and quickest route to getting past it and taking that crown off your head and just come back to being the amazing beacon of light you really are.




*Ultimately the people who have unwittingly chosen abusive teachers along the way on their spiritual path sometimes have mixed feelings about the experience, feeling strangely grateful, because it can teach you a lot and make you much more careful. 

Thank you to Nouk Sanchez for writing such an important insightful article, please continue on to Nouk’s Blog to learn traits of the ego phase and the spiritual ego checklist. It’s am important read about Ego and the holistic healing arts. 


Trading ego for true power


When we get out of the glass bottles of our ego,
and when we escape like squirrels turning in the
cages of our personality
and get into the forests again,
we shall shiver with cold and fright
but things will happen to us
so that we don’t know ourselves.
Cool, unlying life will rush in,
and passion will make our bodies taut with power,
we shall stamp our feet with new power
and old things will fall down,
we shall laugh, and institutions will curl up like
burnt paper.

– D.H. Lawrence