I smoked, I ate garbage food, I had never even tried to run, ever. Not even when I was in school. I sat around all day with self loathing that just grew and grew. I was ashamed. How I looked, how I treated myself, my own self abuse with food. And even worse, my husband and I supported each other in the behaviors that were making us unhealthy. Neither of us would just say NO. We ate more, smoked more, sat more and moved less.
My husband quit smoking cold turkey.
HAD TO STOP. The day I quit smoking, I still cheated. While wearing the patch, I SMOKED (A HUGE NO NO). I knew how horrible that was, how I was playing russian roulette with my life. So instead I decided to try e-cigarettes with low nicotine. I thought this would help me smoke less. Haha, right. I nearly poisoned myself. I took in more and more nicotine. I still remember my lips tasting like nicotine. It was still a DRUG, albeit a legal one, but still and addictive DRUG.
Finally, I got angry, angry at myself, angry at the world for even creating cigarettes. And I quit, cold turkey. The most difficult two weeks or so, ever in my life. And in retrospect, the proudest I have ever been of myslef. It was a turning point for both of us.
After I had quit smoking (7 years April 2017), I knew I could do ANYTHING! After tons of different “diets” and too much time worrying about an ideal image. I decided the only real solution to lose weight had nothing to do with diets, it was MY diet, my nutrition. I needed to change the way I looked at food. My entire relationship with food was abusive. I needed proper nutrition, not a DIEt!
I also needed to MOVE. I’d never been a runner. I walked a couple charity walks ages ago. And I just remembered sore feet, blisters, and huffing and puffing from smoking. Now that I was a non smoker I should get even my lungs back in shape and start moving more. I remember the first day out to “run” with my pretty new running shoes. In my mind, I was gonna fly! But instead I couldn’t even run 30 seconds before I was out of breath. My lungs were in bad shape.
So walk, and walk more, and walk faster and faster, one day you will run! And one day I will be a runner. I won’t lie, this is hard for me. I get no joy in running like most runners do. This was another challenge I would have to face. In 2013 I signed up for my first race. Walking the whole way, out of breath and sore. But I was so stinkin proud. Remembering where I came from to reach this point.
Jump ahead and I have walked 5k’s, 7k’s and an 8k. I am planning to one day do a 10k and a half marathon. No marathon in my future though. I love the shorter races. I get bored out there!
My training is now thanks to Jeff Galloway. I am doing a run/walk/run method. I will eventually run a whole 5k. But I have to trust the process and respect where I am in the process. So what that I can’t just go out and run? I am alive and I am still breathing and there are more miles to go. I do more every day and I will gain health every day.
I challenge you to get out there and walk, slog, jog, run, workout, hike. Toss out bad self abusive habits and form a new healthy YOU. Get out there and be alive in your life!
“Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.”
― Dean Karnazes