When Ego Reigns

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Through my own spiritual walk in life I’ve dealt with my own inflated ego from time to time and having to kick myself down a few notches in the past. And Karma has stepped in on more than one occasion and taken me backwards on my path and even just put severe halts to any advancement or windows of opportunity opening for me until I sorted that crap out. Spiritual superiority we could call it. Many on a spiritual path will encounter this phase in their spiritual development in varying degrees. This is a period where the ego is forced to undertake a spiritual journey of its own and course correct. In other words FIX IT.

People from all walks of life with skills of any kind go through this, but especially; people with artistic skills (like actors, artists, performers, etc), people who are in a position of perceived power, spiritual path walkers (priests, nuns, monks, etc..) and those on healing paths (doctors, nurses, holistic healers, etc..). This high and mighty ego attitude needs to be worked out asap. And believe me, it has to be faced. 

I’ve recently been exposed to a spiritual person who is dealing with a huge ego complex. I doubt I would have seen the signs had they not been so much like me a couple years ago. It was painful to watch. Yes, painful for those who seek wise counsel and healing from this person, but also painful to see this person not see it within themselves. And here I was standing in front of them, seeking counsel and direction. Considering I was one who was purposefully choosing to take two steps back in my own personal development because I needed clarity on which way to turn. The solid ground I had when I lived in Virginia was such a clear path but when we moved to New Jersey it was like I was back in high school not knowing what I wanted out of life. And somehow this incredibly gifted individual standing before me as a potential teacher and mentor turned into a mirror reflection of what was once me (and who knows may try to get me again some day). And in turn it was not their teaching and guidance that gave me clarity, but it was their own ego that reminded me I already knew the answers to the questions I sought. But more importantly I also needed the reminder of where I stood not so long ago, so that I don’t have to relive those lessons learned right now or subject others to it here on my present path.

And I think also to share with you as readers of my blog, to remember that we ‘re all human and prone to the ego no matter how white light and pure our intentions. People turn to spiritual people and healers during their their darkest hours at times and may overlook an ego riding high because they need a powerful in charge person to guide them. Or, they may just be so overwhelmed with a persons gifts, insight or positive spirit they don’t see that the healer forgot to check their ego at the door. And while that person will likely very much be able to help you, may be super equipped to heal you, give spiritual guidance, give oracle readings, reiki, or even be able to teach you and pass on gifts to you, be sure not to adopt the ego they may carry into a session and bring it home or into your own practice. Learn to see the signs. And if you are close with someone who may be a gifted spiritual being of light who also happens to be riding high on their own ego, help them. Talk to them. It tarnishes their halo and only makes the karma they have to clear on themselves that much heavier.


The essence of true faith and spiritual devotion are beyond the scope of ego and beyond the scope of just pure book knowledge. There’s a difference between knowing a path and walking the path. The same holds true as a holistic healer. You can be taught but you also must FEEL that healing energy, just knowing it in your head doesn’t make it so. And when it comes to comparing yourself to other people who do holistic healing, stop and check yourself. Believing your way is the ONLY way or is the BEST way for everyone is a nasty trap of an inflated ego. Watch your words, they should only be to heal.

As Lao Tzu says, “He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”

If you find yourself or a spiritual adviser belittling that which they don’t have first hand knowledge of in order to sway someones belief system towards their own, red flags should be thrown down. You can speak your truth without diminishing others. Even the most spiritual of people have bad days, and having enough courage to be honest with your emotions is a key ingredient for liberation from self centered ego. If you make a mistake, admit it. If you’re having and off day, say so.

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A “Messiah complex. ? Though it’s important to be of service to others, as human beings we are above no one. We are all only human and what one may be able to do better than their sister the one day, the next day sis may rise above. Those on a spiritual path who deal with holistic healing ebb and flow, evolve, regress and evolve again. This is something we need to acknowledge. There is no high and mighty.




Signs your ego is in control and not you – Awareness is key!

  • Does it feel empowering to talk about others flaws? Perceived or otherwise? Do you negative talk fellow spiritual leaders and teachers instead of just focusing on your own path?
  • Do you just have to WIN that argument? I’m not talking clarity of point, I’m talking do you have to make the other person agree with you to justify your own beliefs. Make them come over to “Your Side”?
  • Do you play the comparison game? Do you elevate yourself above other’s in the spiritual community? Do you imply or otherwise say your healing gifts are better than so and so’s?
  • Are you jealous at the success of others? Especially within your community of healers and teachers?
  • Do you promote your business during a session instead of focusing on the session and the person you are helping?

Take a step back and analyze why you’re doing it. Is it fear? Is it lack of belief in yourself? Is it for financial gain? I know that this experience and choosing to write about it and leaving it here will serve as a constant reminder to me to always take a step back and humble myself and check on the status of my ego. Often facing the truth is the hardest to do but the easiest and quickest route to getting past it and taking that crown off your head and just come back to being the amazing beacon of light you really are.




*Ultimately the people who have unwittingly chosen abusive teachers along the way on their spiritual path sometimes have mixed feelings about the experience, feeling strangely grateful, because it can teach you a lot and make you much more careful. 

Thank you to Nouk Sanchez for writing such an important insightful article, please continue on to Nouk’s Blog to learn traits of the ego phase and the spiritual ego checklist. It’s am important read about Ego and the holistic healing arts. 


If we were having coffee



long before I actually started learning more about my spiritualism I actually held many of the principals of a Buddhist deep within who I was as a person, and had zero clue it was a Buddhist way of living life. I was raised Catholic and for a long time studied different religious paths trying to put the pieces together into something that felt like a right path but which had a simple direct no frills line of reasoning. After many years I am finding my heart home mostly within Buddhism.

I always felt a wanting of a deeper connection to people. I never cared for or felt comfortable with what I perceived as talk about the weather type conversations. I always had a need to “get” people on a more spiritual level. And that doesn’t mean a specific religious doctrine, but on a what makes you tick kind of level. Suffice to say a lot of people aren’t like that and have trouble with someone trying to connect too fast. But the more I learned about my own spiritual path the more I found it’s because of my spiritual self  is the reason the why I long to connect with people on a deeper level than just the, “how do you do” pleasantries.

This blog was one way for me to actually try to just talk about myself more openly and randomly about the weather to people lol. To learn to step back and learn to love the process of simple pleasantries in conversation and presentation. Whenever I found myself in situations meeting new people I often just appeared shy and reserved because I didn’t partake in the uncomfortable act of casual conversation. I still tend to stay pretty quiet and just observe people and get to know them better until deeper conversation starts. To a lot of people over the years I guess maybe they thought I just didn’t want to get to know them. When in fact it was the complete opposite. But humans are guarded, even I am. And it takes time to build the trust with some people before they want to open up to you. Once again in many ways I can be like that too. But ask me about deeper subjects and I will sit down over a cup of tea or coffee at some fabulous coffee shop, cafe or tea emporium and chat with for hours over religion, war, peace, alternative healing, etc…

This article I just read I think touches on the type of friendship I offer and can find a connection with. I am always searching for personal growth and good conversation.

Making Friends on the Buddhist Path


Be Alive!


We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.<<<

Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

108 Mala Beads













“Some of the many reasons that have been given for having 108 beads on a mala, as well as a few other points of interest.” – Zenshinequotes.com

Desires: There are said to be 108 earthly desires in mortals.

Lies: There are said to be 108 lies that humans tell.

Delusions: There are said to be 108 human delusions or forms of ignorance.

Heart Chakra: The chakras are the intersections of energy lines, and there are said to be a total of 108 energy lines converging to form the heart chakra. One of them, sushumna leads to the crown chakra, and is said to be the path to Self-realization.

Sanskrit alphabet: There are 54 letters in the Sanskrit alphabet. Each has masculine and feminine, shiva and shakti. 54 times 2 is 108.

Pranayama: If one is able to be so calm in meditation as to have only 108 breaths in a day, enlightenment will come.

Upanishads: Some say there are 108 Upanishads, texts of the wisdom of the ancient sages.

Sri Yantra: On the Sri Yantra there are marmas where three lines intersect, and there are 54 such intersections. Each intersections has masculine and feminine, shiva and shakti qualities. 54 times 2 equals 108. Thus, there are 108 points that define the Sri Yantra as well as the human body.

Pentagon: The angle formed by two adjacent lines in a pentagon equals 108 degrees.

Marmas: Marmas or marmasthanas are like energy intersections called chakras, except have fewer energy lines converging to form them. There are said to be 108 marmas in the subtle body.

Time: Some say there are 108 feelings, with 36 related to the past, 36 related to the present, and 36 related to the future.

8 extra beads: In doing a practice of counting the number of repetitions of the mala, 100 are counted as completed. The remaining are said to cover errors or omissions. The 8 are also said to be an offering to God and Guru.

Chemistry: Interestingly, there are about 115 elements known on the periodic table of the elements. Most of those, around or higher than the number 100 only exist in the laboratory, and some for only thousandths of a second. The number that naturally exist on Earth is around 100.

Astrology: There are 12 constellations, and 9 arc segments called namshas or chandrakalas. 9 times 12 equals 108. Chandra is moon, and kalas are the divisions within a whole.

River Ganga: The sacred River Ganga spans a longitude of 12 degrees (79 to 91), and a latitude of 9 degrees (22 to 31). 12 times 9 equals 108.

Planets and Houses: In astrology, there are 12 houses and 9 planets. 12 times 9 equals 108.

Goddess names: There are said to be 108 Indian goddess names.

Gopis of Krishna: In the Krishna tradition, there were said to be 108 gopis or maid servants of Krishna.

1, 0, and 8: Some say that 1 stands for God or higher Truth, 0 stands for emptiness or completeness in spiritual practice, and 8 stands for infinity or eternity.

Sun and Earth: The diameter of the Sun is 108 times the diameter of the Earth. The distance from the Sun to the Earth is 108 times the diameter of the Sun.

Moon and Earth: The average distance of the Moon from the Earth is 108 times the diameter of the Moon.

Silver and the moon: In astrology, the metal silver is said to represent the moon. The atomic weight of silver is 108.

Numerical scale: The 1 of 108, and the 8 of 108, when added together equals 9, which is the number of the numerical scale, i.e. 1, 2, 3 … 10, etc., where 0 is not a number.

Meditations: Some say there are 108 styles of meditation.

Breath: Tantra estimates the average number of breaths per day at 21,600, of which 10,800 are solar energy, and 10,800 are lunar energy. Multiplying 108 by 100 is 10,800. Multiplying 2 x 10,800 equals 21,600.

Paths to God: Some suggest that there are 108 paths to God.

Smaller divisions: The number 108 is divided, such as in half, third, quarter, or twelfth, so that some malas have 54, 36, 27, or 9 beads.

Hinduism: 108 is said to refer to the number of Hindu deities. Some say that each of the deities has 108 names.

Islam: The number 108 is used in Islam to refer to God.

Jain: In the Jain religion, 108 are the combined virtues of five categories of holy ones, including 12, 8, 36, 25, and 27 virtues respectively.

Sikh: The Sikh tradition has a mala of 108 knots tied in a string of wool, rather than beads.

Buddhism: Some Buddhists carve 108 small Buddhas on a walnut for good luck. Some ring a bell 108 times to celebrate a new year. There are said to be 108 virtues to cultivate and 108 defilements to avoid.

Chinese: The Chinese Buddhists and Taoists use a 108 bead mala, which is called su-chu, and has three dividing beads, so the mala is divided into three parts of 36 each. Chinese astrology says that there are 108 sacred stars.

Stages of the soul: Said that Atman, the human soul or center goes through 108 stages on the journey.

Meru: This is a larger bead, not part of the 108. It is not tied in the sequence of the other beads. It is the quiding bead, the one that marks the beginning and end of the mala.

Dance: There are 108 forms of dance in the Indian traditions.

Praiseworthy souls: There are 108 qualities of praiseworthy souls.

First man in space: The first manned space flight lasted 108 minutes, and was on April 12, 1961 by Yuri Gagarin, a Soviet cosmonaut.

9 times 12: Both of these numbers have been said to have spiritual significance in many traditions. 9 times 12 is 108. Also, 1 plus 8 equals 9. That 9 times 12 equals 108.

Powers of 1, 2, and 3 in math: 1 to 1st power=1; 2 to 2nd power=4 (2×2); 3 to 3rd power=27 (3x3x3). 1x4x27=108

Harshad number: 108 is a Harshad number, which is an integer divisible by the sum of its digits (Harshad is from Sanskrit, and means “great joy”)

Source: Kusala Bhikshu

Impermanence – Eternally Existing and Dissolving

I follow this blog and read this article a while ago and wanted to share it with my readers and so I tucked it away and then was busy with the holidays. This is beautiful and very in tune with my own perceptions, enjoY

Everything comes into being and then dissolves. Whenever you encounter suffering in your life you don’t have to worry because nothing lasts forever. This suffering is not permanent…..continue reading

Epic Poem: The Odyssey of Dharmakara

I want to share this beautiful piece from Pure Land Sutras. It is a long but worthy read, enjoy!

This poem was inspired by the opening chapters of the Infinite Life Sutra, which outline Dharmakara’s (Amitabha) creation of the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss.

Continue To Read: Epic Poem: The Odyssey of Dharmakara

Your work is to discover your world . . .

“Your work is to discover your world
and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death
can erase our good deeds.”

– Buddha